Ahh the fall classic. The leaves must be falling, cool breezes are blowing, and my chocolate suede car coat readies for another season. No, I am not the copy editor of the J.Peterman catalog, just a baseball fan.

And it must be the Yankees vs. Red Sox once again. I know this because the Pedro Martinez takedown of Don Zimmer has just eclipsed the falling of the second tower as the most aired video clip across all the combined Fox Networks. At this point like most of you and your kin, I've been scarred for life by both.

For the easily offended, well your easily offended and it's too late for me to make it up to you. But I have no intention of taking these matters lightly. Just as the Bush administration and its public relations people, (for convenience sake, let's just call them Fox News) have hijacked the 9-11 footage to use in its campaign for 4 more years of wiping their ass with the Constitution. Wow, I think that last sentence was offensive in too many ways to name. Perhaps I should say wiping their asses with the Constitution. At last that will get the Grammar Police off my ass. Are they still independent or are they now part of Homeland Security, too? If anyone would like to reply with just how many ways that last sentence was offensive, that's cool. Someone told me the other day that this was still a free country, although they spoke in hushed tones and in tongues at the time.

Where was I? Oh yeah, Bush used 9-11 in his campaign advertisements to show how strong and resolved he is. And then he told us about how resolved he is. And then he told us again.

Now I have a bit of a problem with this because to put it briefly, 9-11 happened on his watch, and there's enough stories about all the warnings and briefings that were ignored, that there's no need to link to them. Everyone knows, or knew and forgot and went shopping. Me too I got a sweet pair of shades at PacSun today. Then I remembered again.

So anyway this behavior is despicable. Using peoples deaths in the worst tragedy to befall the U.S. to get more votes.

I don't look at planes the same way when I look up in the sky, especially when they're flying at just the wrong angle. You know the angle I'm talking about, you saw it, too.

Today in Atlantic City I saw a young Dominican and a crotchety senior (I never actually looked up the definition of "crotchety", but I'm sure it means something like "full of piss and vinegar") in a heated debate and I started having flashbacks. As the elder moved in closer, I nearly fainted expecting to see his younger adversary palming his skull and sending him to the asphalt. Post-traumatic Zimmer syndrome does not appear in WebMD, and I'm pretty sure any drugs I take to combat it won't be deductible on my Schedule A.

Ok...I'm overdoing it but now we're getting to the point of this rant, and actually where it all began before my Tarantino-esque typing sent me back up top of this diatribe. So what follows is the beginning, and I'm not re-typing it again so let's hope this prologue meshes well, and hasn't sent you back to your usual pron-crawling.

Does it surprise anyone that Fox is broadcasting both playoff games at the same time? It doesn't make sense ratings-wise to pit both of your networks against one another and sabotage ad revenues, since true baseball fans are spending about 4 hours flipping between games, as opposed to spending 8 hours watching them at different times. 3 of the 4 teams are from great baseball markets which should ensure high ratings no matter when the games are broadcast. So to the less-than-average joe, it seems like a dumb business move and someone should lose their job.

But it's Fox.

Fox knows exactly what they're doing.

The final Presidential debate is on right now. As I'm typing. It'll be done by the time you are done reading this. And I can't tell you about it either. Because I'm watching the Red Sox and Yanks (1-0 Yanks in the bottom of the 2nd right now, by the way).

Fox knows that the greatest baseball rivalry of all time is a much greater rivalry than Bush versus Kerry and is exploiting that truth, so less Americans will see  Bush embarass himself on live television against John Kerry. And even if Bush doesn't put his foot in his mouth at any time, Fox isn't taking any chances.

The presidential debate could only worsen things in "the polls" for King George II. Now I know my accusations of Fox bias is nothing new. Michael Moore told you (and showed you), the Outfoxed guy did the same thing, as well as any Democrat you've talked to for more than 5 minutes about the state of the U.S. media.

If ABC can re-broadcast the Desperate Housewives and Lost season premieres, a la HBO's treatment of the Sopranos and Sex in the City, would it be too much for FOX to re-broadcast the presidential debates?

This just in...

...straight from the Fox News ticker...

...they are...

...Superbowl Sunday.

Thanks, Uncle Rupert.

That's it from me, the idiot who decided to miss both baseball games and the Presidential debate, because he got a bug up his ass to launch version 2.0 of his blog.