I should say St. Valentine's Day. Well, not anymore, it's now Friday, but this post somehow disappeared after writing it about 24 hours ago.

I never dreamt I'd someday look back fondly at the Crazy Eddie television commercials. Yet, here I find myself waxing nostalgically over some Northeastern pop culture detritus.



I never embed, I usually just link, but I've reconsidered my position on that. Why send the eyeballs elsewhere when they can stay right here.

I remember buying vinyl records and cassettes at Crazy Eddie, as well as a floppy disk drive for my Atari 800XL computer. These ads actually inspired the Seinfeld episode entitled, "The Junk Mail". Elaine dates a guy who was once the fictional television pitchman known as "The Wiz". Incidentally, The Wiz, later known as Nobody Beats The Wiz, was also an electronics retailer located predominantly in New York and New Jersey. But since their prices weren't completely insane they often used real-life characters in their ads, such as Joe Namath.

This was long before Namath went 0-for-2 in pass attempts on the sidelines, seeking out kisses from Suzy Kolber. (Yep, that link goes to the infamous video. I thought it would look kind of crappy to put two embedded videos in the same post. Especially when the point of this video was to highlight the Crazy Eddie ads, and not focus on the ancillary Joe Namath reference.)

There's like 30 blog posts floating around in my head, yet none of them have been able to win their battle of king of the hill to reach the apex of my cerebrum, I'm a little bit right-brained and a little bit left-brained, I bat righty and throw lefty, and have a bipolor condition with complexities that somehow make the Yankees vs. Red Sox not completely cut and dry. That said, the separate mililiters of cream rising to the top lie somewhere in the middle, that slight fissure or fold between the two cortexes (Is that what they're called? Is the plural form cortices? corti?) which with the nature of fissures is not quite the highest point within my skull. Expect something involving the IRS, the MoMA, Joe Franklin, YouTube, Melanie Martinez, cheeseburgers, a possible revisit to my micro Rocketboom obsession, or possibly some grand unification theory involving all the former (I'd say 'above', but some of those things may fall to the left). All from this little curio shop on the Internet, that walks the line between not so great, and not so bad.

I know a few people that live under rocks, so here's a courtesy for them to see the wacky treadmill curiosity that is OK GO. And I don't believe Spike Jonze or any of his alternate personalities were involved or harmed in the making of this video.

Where there is no money, there will always be ingenuity.

...in the same posting.

I can't read or speak Italian. And I know I probably could translate the page somehow, but the 2 videos speak for themselves. Inkiostro has featured both a Live Action Simpsons Intro and Natalie Portman...no,no,no, not that Natalie Portman...the other one...the gangsta rapper.

As seen on The Daily Show.

A special report from Demetri Martin.

I've never watched Trading Spouses, but I've seen that recent commercial with that woman screaming her head off quite a few times. You have as well. And it has scarred your brain like the maze etched onto the screen of an old Pac-Man machine that's never been unplugged.

Now is she or is she not the bus driver from South Park? Her name is Margaret, as far as I can tell? I don't know the name of the bus driver though?

Can't find pic of her now. Sleep calls me, so I leave. But if you've seen South Park, I'm sure you'll agree. And that picture up top doesn't do Margaret justice, the commercials showed her screaming her head off, but not screaming, "SIT DOWN, KID!" Fox will probably switch up the pictures on their web site by the time people read this in the late morning, and readers will just scratch their heads.

Ahh the fall classic. The leaves must be falling, cool breezes are blowing, and my chocolate suede car coat readies for another season. No, I am not the copy editor of the J.Peterman catalog, just a baseball fan.

And it must be the Yankees vs. Red Sox once again. I know this because the Pedro Martinez takedown of Don Zimmer has just eclipsed the falling of the second tower as the most aired video clip across all the combined Fox Networks. At this point like most of you and your kin, I've been scarred for life by both.

For the easily offended, well your easily offended and it's too late for me to make it up to you. But I have no intention of taking these matters lightly. Just as the Bush administration and its public relations people, (for convenience sake, let's just call them Fox News) have hijacked the 9-11 footage to use in its campaign for 4 more years of wiping their ass with the Constitution. Wow, I think that last sentence was offensive in too many ways to name. Perhaps I should say wiping their asses with the Constitution. At last that will get the Grammar Police off my ass. Are they still independent or are they now part of Homeland Security, too? If anyone would like to reply with just how many ways that last sentence was offensive, that's cool. Someone told me the other day that this was still a free country, although they spoke in hushed tones and in tongues at the time.

Where was I? Oh yeah, Bush used 9-11 in his campaign advertisements to show how strong and resolved he is. And then he told us about how resolved he is. And then he told us again.

Now I have a bit of a problem with this because to put it briefly, 9-11 happened on his watch, and there's enough stories about all the warnings and briefings that were ignored, that there's no need to link to them. Everyone knows, or knew and forgot and went shopping. Me too I got a sweet pair of shades at PacSun today. Then I remembered again.

So anyway this behavior is despicable. Using peoples deaths in the worst tragedy to befall the U.S. to get more votes.

I don't look at planes the same way when I look up in the sky, especially when they're flying at just the wrong angle. You know the angle I'm talking about, you saw it, too.

Today in Atlantic City I saw a young Dominican and a crotchety senior (I never actually looked up the definition of "crotchety", but I'm sure it means something like "full of piss and vinegar") in a heated debate and I started having flashbacks. As the elder moved in closer, I nearly fainted expecting to see his younger adversary palming his skull and sending him to the asphalt. Post-traumatic Zimmer syndrome does not appear in WebMD, and I'm pretty sure any drugs I take to combat it won't be deductible on my Schedule A.

Ok...I'm overdoing it but now we're getting to the point of this rant, and actually where it all began before my Tarantino-esque typing sent me back up top of this diatribe. So what follows is the beginning, and I'm not re-typing it again so let's hope this prologue meshes well, and hasn't sent you back to your usual pron-crawling.

Does it surprise anyone that Fox is broadcasting both playoff games at the same time? It doesn't make sense ratings-wise to pit both of your networks against one another and sabotage ad revenues, since true baseball fans are spending about 4 hours flipping between games, as opposed to spending 8 hours watching them at different times. 3 of the 4 teams are from great baseball markets which should ensure high ratings no matter when the games are broadcast. So to the less-than-average joe, it seems like a dumb business move and someone should lose their job.

But it's Fox.

Fox knows exactly what they're doing.

The final Presidential debate is on right now. As I'm typing. It'll be done by the time you are done reading this. And I can't tell you about it either. Because I'm watching the Red Sox and Yanks (1-0 Yanks in the bottom of the 2nd right now, by the way).

Fox knows that the greatest baseball rivalry of all time is a much greater rivalry than Bush versus Kerry and is exploiting that truth, so less Americans will see  Bush embarass himself on live television against John Kerry. And even if Bush doesn't put his foot in his mouth at any time, Fox isn't taking any chances.

The presidential debate could only worsen things in "the polls" for King George II. Now I know my accusations of Fox bias is nothing new. Michael Moore told you (and showed you), the Outfoxed guy did the same thing, as well as any Democrat you've talked to for more than 5 minutes about the state of the U.S. media.

If ABC can re-broadcast the Desperate Housewives and Lost season premieres, a la HBO's treatment of the Sopranos and Sex in the City, would it be too much for FOX to re-broadcast the presidential debates?

This just in...

...straight from the Fox News ticker...

...they are...

...Superbowl Sunday.

Thanks, Uncle Rupert.

That's it from me, the idiot who decided to miss both baseball games and the Presidential debate, because he got a bug up his ass to launch version 2.0 of his blog.